Yep

The Charm of Adventure Revisited

When I started this blog, I named it after a partial quote from the novel Jane Eyre. The quote reads:

"It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation..."

When I first read Jane Eyre a little over two years, I stopped at this exact moment, to underline the passage. I had just graduated from college. It was an illumination of the phase in my life I had entered. I was young, cut adrift, but with adventurous charms, my life would be sweetened and enriched.

I left out the end of the quote. The last line reads:

"...the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant when half an hour elapsed, and still I was alone.”

It truly is amazing how the last line of a quote can then prove its truth after years of reading the first.

The Front-lines

I work at a bank. This past week, I had to go to our Central Operations for a training. While I was there, I noticed that the "back room" workers kept referring to what I do as working in the front-lines. At the time, it made sense. I am literally placed at the front of the bank. My desk is in the front of the lobby. People usually stop and ask to speak to someone when, technically, I am no one's secretary.

However, the past couple of days. The phrase "the front-lines" has vividly cast a blinding light into my eyes. I am the disposable. I am the first victim. I am the defeated. Women in their fur muffs and chanelle perfume blast their barrels at my defenses. They cut me with side comments and sneers. At the same time, the faith of an entire institution rests on the hope that I will succeed at what I do. Guard what is beloved to its people. Money. At the same time, I am the hope. I am the help. I am the hero.

With that being said, fight on all you front-liners. Fight on.

New Year's Resolution

Okay Okay, so I am not the greatest blogger in the world. In fact, I may be one of the worst bloggers in the world. Nonetheless, I'm going to blog.

I am finding it hard to believe that it has been a year since I started this blog. It has been a year since I graduated from college. Let's take a look at what has happened this past year.

1) I moved back home to Colorado from Arkansas

2) I actually got a job (I feel with a little bit of luck)

3) I lost thirty pounds

4) I have kept the faith

Now, I have never been big on New Years Resolutions. Don't get me wrong. If they truly do work for some people, that is terrific. I guess I am just always looking to improve myself in some way, so I don't necessarily need to pick a specific day to do it.

But, I am now going to look into the future and make some plans for the coming year. I hope this next year includes:

1) Moving out of my parents house

2) Either moving to India, Arkansas, or Texas

3) Keep the weight off

4) Keep the faith.

We'll just have to see how that goes... :)

How to Achieve Greatness

Ever since I entered into the realm of higher education, I have been convinced that I am destined for greatness. That phrase is a little cliche to be sure, so let me explain what I mean. I want to mark a divet in the windshield of the world. I want what I took from school to influence at least one other human being before I die. Now that I am working in a field not even close to either of my degrees, I find myself wondering, "What's so great about this?" So, I pose this question, where do you find great opportunities within the ordinary grind of life?

I am not really sure what to do at this point. I wrote one column for my local newspaper, and I am trying to become more involved with work, but how do I find greatness while striving to remain content to stay where I am, in the moment, right now?

Drumroll Please...

After five months out of college and 3 months out of a job, I am no longer unemployed!

That's right. I am now an officially official employee at a very official job. Full-Time with loads of benefits. Wow, it seems like it has taken kind of a while to get to this place, but at the same time I do not even really know where this place is. I am extremely happy to have a job, but at the same time I am always looking forward. I want to plan, shocker, every detail of how things will work out for the next 6 months, year, 2 years. Do I stay at this location, do I try to transfer to a different town to kind of see what else is out there? Do I just stay long enough to raise some money for Grad or Law school? Ahh, but those questions will surely be answered with time.

For the time being, I will sit back, drink a sugar-free vanilla latte, and read some Steinbeck.

"... a great part of the world was abandoned to children, insane people, fools, and mystics, who were more interested in what is than in why it is. So many old and lovely things are stored in the world's attic, because we don't want them around us and we don't dare throw them out."

-John Steinbeck- The Winter of Our Discontent

Is it just me?

I am a planner by nature. I plan everything. I plan each hour of my day, each day of my week. The plans I have set up have been pretty successful thus far in my life.

Plan #1: Get into College.

Plan #2: Graduate From College

Now, those plans are obviously more of a big picture kind of thing. There have been more plans that I have set up that have sort of been lost somewhere in the void between my mind and reality.

Plan #3: Get a Job

Plan #4: Get married and start a family.

I am not saying that I want to rush into marriage or any relationship by any means. What I am saying is that these two plans are looking pretty hopeless at the moment. I am confident that I am being completely dramatic, and I am sure (well at least hopeful) that ten years from now I will look back on this time and realize that I was worried for nothing, that my life has turned out nothing like I had planned it to be but is still wonderful all the same.

At least, that's what I'm planning on anyways.